. 3: "Headcanons"

I have diary now. Diaries are cool!

One of my hcs for Todd is that he becomes a grumpy depressed (and surprisingly needy) cat, I mean boyfriend, when hes not feeling well. 😳 Plus Im so down with the idea of Dirk being an attentive lover. Aw! (c)

So I saw this adorable art by @jaywani and this plot bunny just popped into my head, and this ficlet was the result!

Thanks for the inspiration and cutest art @jaywani!!! :D

Fandom: Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Characters: Dirk Gently, Todd Brotzman, Amanda Brotzman

Written for @brotzlyweek, Day 3 - headcanons

Teaser: Amanda something somethings wrong with Todd!

Amanda something somethings wrong with Todd!

Amanda lifted a brow curiously at the panic in Dirks voice on the other end of the line.

What is he having another attack? Whats wrong with him?

Well no, not an attack but well, I woke up this morning and he was still in bed, and I didnt want to wake him, so I went out to buy us some breakfast, and when I got back I found him on the couch, but when I sat down next to him well..

Yeah? prompted Amanda.

Hes hugging me, Amanda.

Hugging you?

Yes arms all round, and and he might even have grabbed onto my jacket very tightly around the back. I cant see, but I can feel it bunching, not that I mind him doing that to my jacket and


Well I think hes asleep but he looks so sad

Amanda burst into a giggle.

Amanda this is very serious, admonished Dirk, frowning at her response. Something is very wrong with Todd. Todd doesnt he doesnt I mean, he does hug sometimes but not

Dirk, responded Amanda as she held back another giggle. Feel his forehead.

What? Feel his forehead?

Dirk hesitantly shifted Todds face from his jacket a little, placing his hand gently onto said forehead.

Oh my, its very warm!

Amanda giggled again.

Hes just running a fever, Dirk. Todd always gets clingy like that when hes sick. Just give him some aspirin, hell be fine.

Aspirin, huh?

Yeah, pretty sure he keeps some in his bathroom cabinet You guys are just adorable by the way, she cooed.

Okay Amanda, Ill get him some aspirin but

What is it, Dirk?

Well, he still looks so sad and he might even be whimpering?

Amanda sighed.

Look, give him his aspirin and if you want to make him feel better, just cuddle him.

Cuddle him?

Yeah its the only way to make him less miserable? Whenever hes running a fever, he gets all weirdly pathetic like that. It used to be so annoying when Ill be trying to finish my homework and hell just be sticking to me like glue but, thats just Todd.

Okay, aspirin and cuddles, got it. Thanks Amanda!

Dirk hung up the phone, huffing slightly in relief that Amanda had provided him answers. Gently, he detached himself from Todds arms to get him his aspirin, the other man giving him a small grumbled sob in response.

Ill be right back, he reassured him, running his hands through his hair a couple of times before making his way to the bathroom.

Here Todd, you need to take these, he told Todd when he got back with two pills and a glass of water. In the time he had been gone, Todd had wrapped himself into a pitiful looking ball, a deep frown on his face, his hands now wrapped tight around a couch cushion. Carefully, Dirk shook the man awake, sitting back down on the couch and propping Todd up against himself so he could help Todd take his medicine.

Okay, now hmm cuddles, said Dirk to himself, awkwardly pulling Todd into his arms. Todd quickly clung to him like a limpet, his hands rumpling Dirks jacket again, his face resting into Dirks chest. Not used to the unusual pose, Dirk sat stiffly for a few moments with his arms around Todd, breathing carefully so not to disturb the man from his sleep. He studied Todds face, noticing how the man slowly relaxed, his furrowed brows smoothing out until he looked like he was peacefully dozing. At the sound of Todds steady breaths, Dirk felt himself relaxing, feeling Todd mold into his embrace.

This this was nice, Dirk decided, pulling Todd tighter into his arms when he heard Todd whimper again. He smiled when Todd burrowed his face fully into his chest.

Hey, its alright come here, he soothed softly. (c)

Headcanon: Dirk must stop at every single street vendor he sees and get snacks. He always orders for two, even if Todd doesnt want any, because well you might get hungry later, Todd!
Todd just assumes that the extra food he doesnt eat gets thrown away, until they get captured and locked together in a tiny cell for 24 hours and manage to survive off half a stale hotdog, 3 packets of peanuts, and a hardened lump of melted candyfloss that Dirk was hoarding in his inner jacket pockets. (c)

so this WAS just gonna be a simple relationship headcanons text post but i decided to flesh it out and and word it a bit more fic-ishly anyway. this ones a bit bittersweet lads.
Todd doesnt realise he and Dirk are living together until weeks after Dirk has already moved in.

It starts with small things- Dirks jackets turning up in the closet, Dirks toothbrush by the sink, Dirks favourite mug by the kettle. Dirks clutter- the good, the bad and the nonsensical- creeping into his own living space.

At first he just thinks they just spend a lot of time together- theyre friends, boyfriends and work colleagues, of course they spend a lot of time together. Of course Dirk stays over a lot. Of course its easier for him to leave some stuff here.

It takes Todds ratty old couch magically transforming into Dirks for the penny to drop.

Dirk used to own too many sets of pyjamas for a person who more often than not just conked out fully-clothed in front of the telly. He still does, but if anything he wears them even less.

Theres only one thing he really wants to wear when he sleeps, and thats Todds Mexican Funeral Shirt. Its soft, its comforting, and hes probably less likely to get shot at in bed than anywhere else so clearly its the easiest way to keep his promise to Todd.

Todd always laughs and tells him he doesnt have to take that comment so literally. Teases him mercilessly when he clambers into bed, still stubbornly clad in the increasingly well-worn shirt.

But when Dirk wakes up to find Todd already awake and watching him, he knows hes not imagining the look of soft, unguarded fondness on Todds face.

Or the way his hand bunches in his shirt on Dirks waist when they kiss good morning.

Todd often catches Dirk eyeing his guitar. Sometimes hell even reach out with reverent, tentative hands and pluck the strings when he thinks Todd isnt looking.

Until one day, when Todd decides enough is enough.

He rolls his eyes, sits Dirk down and teaches him a G-chord. Dirk doesnt do terribly, and his eyes light up, and he looks at Todd like he hung the moon.

Every time Todd catches Dirk taking interest in the guitar, he teaches him a chord. When he runs out of chords, he gives him tips on perfecting his fingering. When he runs out of tips, he teaches him about chord progressions.

Dirk isnt a natural by any stretch of the imagination. But he tries hard, and he hangs on Todds every word and whenever he manages a chord change without too much fumbling he grins like hes just solved the heist of the century.

Hed never say it out loud, but their impromptu guitar lessons soon become a highlight of Todds week.

Sometimes hell wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of careful, experimental threads of chords floating over from the couch, and hell know that Dirk is having the kind of night where hed rather avoid sleep altogether.

But hell look over and see Dirk smiling softly down at his fingers as they frame the chords, and hell know that hes okay.

Dirk just needs to feel like hes the one manipulating the strings every now and then.

Dirk doesnt always receive compliments from Todd but when he does, theyre as heartfelt and sincere as can be.

Theyre also immediately downplayed by the sarcastic comment or exasperated insult that follows.

It used to sting, feeling like Todd couldnt ever give him a compliment that wasnt backhanded. Used to make him doubt their relationship, his place in Todds life.

Now though? Now its not such a hardship.

He understands Todd- possibly better than hes ever understood another human being- and he knows that this is uncharted territory for him. Todd has never been a relationship person, never had one before that he didnt immediately sabotage. Never reached the point of emotional vulnerability that they have. He has ways of coping, just like Dirk does.

When he tells Dirk hes the bravest person hes ever known, Dirk hears exactly that.

When he follows it up with and the stupidest, Dirk hears and I love you.

Todd isnt sure hes ever dated someone as tactile as Dirk. Honestly, the man has no concept of personal space.

It doesnt always present itself in romantic, sexy or even comfortable ways. This isnt the casual physical affection of college girlfriends who used to sit on his lap in crowded bars, of college boyfriends who used to drape themselves over him like blankets on the couch.

But Dirk had been grabbing, prodding, patting and generally making a nuisance of himself since day one. He touches Todd when hes happy, when hes sad, angry, afraid, overwhelmed. He touches Todd (and other people, but he has a particular fondness for Todd) because he can do that now after years of being starved for it. It grounds him in the moment, reassures him that what hes seeing and feeling is real.

And Todd grumbles, and rolls his eyes and scowls for the benefit of whoevers watching. But its healthy, its good, and he never turns Dirk away. He wouldnt even want to.

The days when Dirk doesnt reach out for him, or for anyone, the days when he keeps his eyes downcast and his hands to himself

Those are the ones Todd worries about.

Dirk and Todd dont become a couple until long after theyve already started doing the things that couples do. Until theyve already started living together, sleeping together, sharing minty kisses in the half light. They live, they laugh, they kiss, they hug.

And they fight.

They fight over the little things- over who was supposed to do the dishes, over who tracked crime scene blood over the carpet, over who ate the last of the Lucky Charms (Dirk, Dirk and Dirk).

And then theres the not-so-little things. The things that they avoid talking about for as long as possible because when they do its like pouring salt into an open wound. Things like Dirk and his reckless, heat-of-the-moment endangerment of himself at the whims of the universe. Things like Todds emotional self-sabotage and inability to well and truly leave the past behind. Theyre both self-destructive people, in their own ways. And it hurts. It hurts them both more than they think the other can possibly comprehend.

And so they fight- never physically, but viciously nonetheless. They know each other too well, back to front, good and bad. Know each other well enough to make their verbal punches hit where it hurts, even accidentally. And it is an accident, whenever either of them says something truly cutting. They dont want to hurt each other, ever again, not after the Patrick Spring case and the painful separation by Blackwing that followed. But sometimes they just cant help themselves.

Which, unfortunately, comes as a surprise to neither.

Because Todd always hurts the people he loves.

And Dirk cant hold onto anyone, no matter how hard he tries.

And so sometimes, when their voices are hoarse and theyre all cried-out and left to stand in the fallout, they go their separate ways.

Dirk seeks sanctuary with Farah- when she hears him knock politely on her apartment door instead of clambering right through the window, she knows. She just knows.

Todd, with nowhere else to go, tracks down Amanda. Their relationship still isnt perfect and her resentment hangs over them like a cloud- but she knows Todd, knows his mourning signs, and knows exactly what to do.

Sometimes it takes days, or weeks. Sometimes it takes Farah, Amanda and the Rowdies literally setting up an ambush because Dirk and Todd can both be stubborn arseholes when they feel like it.

But eventually, when the storms blown over and the dust has settled, they drift right back into each others orbit.

They look at each other, for the first time in far, far too long, and they smile as the universe tips back into balance.

They both know that this wont be the last time. Theyre both messed-up people with mountains of flaws and change is a slow process. Sooner or later theyll break again, and itll be some time before they mend themselves.

But they will mend themselves. Every single time. Being together can be difficult, but its nothing compared to being apart.

To Todd, Dirk is hope. Hes warmth, and sunshine and unconditional love and affection. Hes mutual understanding. Hes magic and adventure and complete and utter fucking chaos. Hes living proof that whatever mistakes they make, whatever bridges they burn, somehow theyll always wind up exactly where they need to be.

And to Dirk? To Dirk, Todd

Todd is home.

Hes never really had one of those, but he thinks he rather likes it.

Honestly, couple seems a rather pedestrian term to describe what they are. Doesnt quite capture the enormity, the complexity, the sheer absurdity of them.

But they adopt it anyway, by mutually tacit agreement at some point in their relationship that neither can remember.

It makes first introductions less of a headache. (c)

@: , dirkgently, brotzly week

2017-06-15 17:33 

Everything is getting nicely out of control
, . - :inlove::heart: